I woke up late that Tuesday morning when the Supreme Court ruling was due.
I knew when I woke that the decision had already come out or was due any minute but I made myself quietly reflect.
I reminded myself that no matter what the ruling or what the rhetoric said, I would always be an American and would, consequently, be owed the same rights as any other American.
After reflecting for what seemed like hours, but was only minutes, I turned on my phone.
There they were: about 20 tweets and another 20 text messages from friends and acquaintances regarding the decision.
Proposition 8 was upheld, defining marriage in the state of California as the union between one man and one woman.
I was disappointed.
By no means, however, was I surprised.
This great country of ours is not without faults.
We have come very far in terms of civil rights, but that road has been rocky, to say the least.
It seems that the electorate has to learn the same lesson over and over again.
At some point, you would think we would get it right and suddenly see all the injustices in this country and fix.
That would be great.
Democracy, however, is never that simple.
Our particular brand of it seems to be innately imbued with conflict.
All the great advancements we have made as a country have come after great struggles on behalf of both sides.
The greatest injustices and inequalities have been righted after much unrest and strife, which begs the questions:
Would we value and honor these advancements so much if we came by them easily?
Would we devote an entire month to African American History if we did not realize that these people had to suffer under codified bondage, discrimination and second-class citizenship?
Would we even bother to mention women’s suffrage if those brave woman had not fought for it?
We probably would not.
Twice Californians have put my rights on a ballot and decided that I am not as good as a heterosexual.
Once, the court upheld equality and gave me the rights afforded even to felons in this country, but this time they have not.
Obviously, the California Supreme Court has lost their judicial cojones.
Instead of interpreting the law of the land as it is written, they allowed themselves to be swayed by the gall of these so-called protectors of traditional marriage.
Maybe the California Supreme Court may have forgotten the equal protections clause or the 14th amendment, but obviously increasing number of Californians have not.
In 2000, 61 percent of the California electorate stood against marriage equality.
Just eight years later, the newer generation passed another law, doing the same thing.
This time, however, only 52 percent voted in favor of it.
To some, this may be depressing.
In my case, it is hope-inspiring.
Forty eight percent stood up for marriage equality and, even though the court upheld the other 52’s discriminatory voting practices, thousands of loving, committed couples get to stay together.
That is the silver lining, but we must also face the truth.
Today, I sit at this desk a California-born, gay, Latino male - A man with dreams, aspirations, faults, secrets and accomplishments.
I am much like any other guy or girl in this state, with one glaring and painful difference:
As it stands now, I have been deemed not good enough to marry.
I want you to know me.
I am not just a statistic or a character in an after-school special.
I am a person, made of flesh and blood, born in this country brave and the mostly free.
I want you to know me so that next time you vote on this you know at least one of the names of the people whose lives your changing with that ballot.
It is not just an idea or a space on a ballot.
It is part of people’s lives.
Californians’ lives.
My life.
